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ŚB 3.4.5

तथापि तदभिप्रेतं जानन्नहमरिन्दम ।
पृष्ठतोऽन्वगमं भर्तु: पादविश्लेषणाक्षम: ॥ ५ ॥
tathāpi tad-abhipretaṁ
jānann aham arindama
pṛṣṭhato ’nvagamaṁ bhartuḥ
pāda-viśleṣaṇākṣamaḥ

Synonyms

tathā apiyet, in spite of; tat-abhipretamHis desire; jānanknowing; ahamI; arim-damaO subduer of the enemy (Vidura); pṛṣṭhataḥbehind; anvagamamfollowed; bhartuḥof the master; pāda-viśleṣaṇaseparation from His lotus feet; akṣamaḥnot being able.

Translation

Yet in spite of my knowing His desire [to destroy the dynasty], O Arindama [Vidura], I followed Him because it was impossible for me to bear separation from the lotus feet of the master.